“Oh, come on, Ash, that smells like a unicorn fart.”

“She just shook her head and pulled out a small bottle of some random pop star's signature perfume, spritzing me with the sickly-sweet smell. "Oh, come on Ash, that smells like a unicorn fart," I cried, recoiling at the overpowering, candylike smell.”

“She was so cold, she probably farted ice cubes.”

“Do I look like a freaking fairy - tale princess to you?”

“I longed to know what it felt like to have one person eclipse everything bad in your life - be a place of pure joy.”

“I wasn’t exactly a stranger to feeling like a princess—if you meant the princess in the first half of the fairy tale. Cinderella as a scullery maid. Snow White with the wicked stepmother. But I wasn’t used to what life was like after you meet the prince, after the slipper fits, after the kiss wakes you from your slumber. It would take some getting used to.”

“My eyes are not worthy to look upon your face, yet they will not rest until they see you again.”