“For two personalities to meet is like mixing two chemical substances: if there is any combination at all, both are transformed.”

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

“Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.”

“Any food that requires enhancing by the use of chemical substances should in no way be considered a food.”

“You can let more people into the mix who could possibly make you happy. Or you can hold out for that two percent of men who you assume meet your requirements, and hope that coincidentally, someone in that two percent feels that you're in his two percent. And even then, the people you assume to meet your requirements might in fact not be the right fit for you.”

“That is like throwing two virgins into a bed. Enthusiasm, passion, and ignorance are not a good combination. Someone is likely to get hurt.”