“Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course.Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The little brown, furry rodents.Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.”

“Death, I need my little addiction to you. I need that tiny voice who, even as I rise from the sea, all woman, all there, says kill me, kill me.”

“Reading all the quotes in the world won’t make you or me into Plato, Gandhi Or Einstein, just like watching hundreds games of soccer won’t make you a soccer player or taking a yoga class will make u a yogini, or reading a golf book will make you a golfer. We need to put the Knowledge to practice and that is the challenge. Put it to work for you, make the effort to Follow Through”

“Anybody who knows him, even all the girls, will tell you he's a great guy, and they'll do anything for him, right up until they want to kill him.”

“You all have stories, Sandy said. And we have secrets”

“All I want to shout is 'Moaty, it's Gazza!', and I guarantee me and him could sit and chat. I would say, 'Why don't you just put the gun away, throw it in the river? The police are not going to kill you.”