“Martin, at my age, eroticism is reduced to enjoying caramel custard and looking at widows' necks.”

“Whoever marries the spirit of this age will find himself a widower in the next. ”

“I am an anomaly - a woman alone, too young to be widowed and too old to be looking for a mate. I occupy that no man's land - no woman's land - between youth and old age.”

“Pornography is certainly more beautiful than eroticism. Eroticism is ugly. Eroticism is an ideology... there is nothing more boring than eroticism, it's worse than poetry, even. I say three cheers for pornography.”

“F**k!" he exploded, chocolate and caramel flying out of his mouth. My heart seized. He looked like he was going to have a chocolate-caramel-layer-square-induced heart attack. ..."These are unbe-f**king-lievable. I think I've finally fallen in love, with a f**kin' brownie!”

“There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.”