“When I say something like "back when I was in highschool," I usually mean: "back when I was supposed to be in high school.”

“When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all”

“My therapist says it's because I have 'daddy' issues. Like that's supposed to mean something to me. How can I have daddy issues when I barely knew the prick?”

“When Will says 'enterprising', he means 'morally deficient.'" "No, I mean enterprising," said Will. "When I mean morally deficient, I say, 'Now, that's something I would have done.”

“Everyone takes a turn, and when it gets to me, I shout out what Jewish people say at times like this: "L'chaim!" "It means 'to life,'" I explain. And as I say it, I think that maybe this is what I was saying a prayer for back in the cathedral. To life.”

“When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it.”