“It was soon after that I, overwhelmed with the implications of that memory, overdosed - well, somebody did but as it was my mouth and my stomach that was involved I had to take the consequences. Somehow or other (did an alter ring him?) Bruce (from my support group) got to know, drove over and took us to the hospital.”

“Somehow I started introducing writing into my drawings, and after a time, the language took over and I started getting very involved with the handwriting and then the look of the handwriting.”

“I first got very thin after Ashley. I felt like my stomach was doing backflips - like my emotions had taken over and made me full.”

“I didn’t say anything. I just took his hand in mine, and laid it over my heart that was still pounding wildly in my chest. I wasn’t sure why I did it, or where my logic went in that particular moment. Maybe I wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone in the way he felt and that the kiss had reignited something in me, as well. I didn’t know for sure.”

“I know how it feels, dear one. As if your heart were torn in two. I feel your pain.”I took a deep breath. Another.“Finbar?”“I know how it feels. As if you will never be whole again.”I reached inside my dress, where I wore two cords about my neck. One held my wedding ring; the other the amulet that had once been my mother’s. I left the one, and took off the other. “This is yours. Take it back. Take it back, it was to you she gave it.”I slipped the cord over his head, and the little carven stone with its ash tree sign lay on his breast. He had grown painfully thin.“Show me the other. The other talisman you wear.”Slowly I took out the carven ring, and lifted it on my palm for my brother to see.“He made this for you? Him with the golden hair, and the eyes that devour”?“Not him. Another.” Images were strong in my mind; Red with his arm around me like a shield; Red cutting up and apple; Red kicking a sword from a man’s hand, and catching it in his own; Red barefoot on the sand with the sea around his ankles.“You risked much, to give your love to such a one.”I stared at him. “Love?”“Did you not know, until now, when you must say goodbye?”

“The night had fallen. I had let my tools drop from my hands. Of what moment now was my hammer, my bolt, or thirst, or death? On one star, one planet, my planet, the Earth, there was a little prince to be comforted. I took him in my arms, and rocked him. I said to him: "The flower that you love is not in danger. I will draw you a muzzle for your sheep. I will draw you a railing to put around your flower. I will --" I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go on hand in hand with him once more. It is such a secret place, the land of tears.”