“You know how I feel about love. It was invented to sell wedding cakes. And vacations to Waikiki.”

“I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake... I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that's how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn't think about visiting.”

“I'm in love. And I like how that feels. And I hate how that feels. Because love is an invention of fiction writers.”

“I love you more than I love goats, and you know how I feel about goats", Gaby said.”

“Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing."Melvin Baylor - Seven Up”

“Besides, you know how I love the theater, and let's face it-a wedding is like a big show followed by a cast party.”