“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?”

“I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.”

“Jonah squealed, jumping up and down and shaking his pom-poms. His skirt swished around his scrawny yellow knees.“Jonah, can I give you a piece of sisterly advice?”“Yeah.”“If you ever want to lose your virginity, don’t do that again. Ever.”

“After a quick meltdown in the bathroom, I went downstairs. When I turned the corner at the bottom of the basement steps, Jonah lept at me, waving a plastic bag in my face. I'd never been so happy to see a Country Market bag in my life.”

“Everyone in the room stared at me like they expected me to grow fangs and sparkle.”

“I'm going to go hunt some zombie," he said. It would have sounded pretty cool if his voice hadn't cracked in the middle of the sentence.”

“It probably wasn't smart to judge them based on appearance. I, for instance, was destined to be a world-renowned surgeon, but between my long, brown braid, square-framed glasses, and boyish figure, I looked more like the kind of girl who works in a library and spends Friday nights having deep, meaningful conversations with her cats.”