“I stumbled into a clearing. In the springtime, it was probably the kind of place you’d like to hang out with sparkly vampires. But it was slightly less attractive in the rain.”

“It probably wasn't smart to judge them based on appearance. I, for instance, was destined to be a world-renowned surgeon, but between my long, brown braid, square-framed glasses, and boyish figure, I looked more like the kind of girl who works in a library and spends Friday nights having deep, meaningful conversations with her cats.”

“What kind of emergency?”“Uh …”“Gynecology or acupuncture?”What the heck would an acupuncture-related emergency be like?”

“I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.”

“Everyone in the room stared at me like they expected me to grow fangs and sparkle.”

“That puke was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. It was green and a little red. Technicolor, really, the color puke is supposed to be. It definitely wasn't black, and it didn't smell like toasty poop. This was a good sign.”

“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?”