“I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.”

“What kind of emergency?”“Uh …”“Gynecology or acupuncture?”What the heck would an acupuncture-related emergency be like?”

“Jonah squealed, jumping up and down and shaking his pom-poms. His skirt swished around his scrawny yellow knees.“Jonah, can I give you a piece of sisterly advice?”“Yeah.”“If you ever want to lose your virginity, don’t do that again. Ever.”

“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?”

“I stumbled into a clearing. In the springtime, it was probably the kind of place you’d like to hang out with sparkly vampires. But it was slightly less attractive in the rain.”

“After a quick meltdown in the bathroom, I went downstairs. When I turned the corner at the bottom of the basement steps, Jonah lept at me, waving a plastic bag in my face. I'd never been so happy to see a Country Market bag in my life.”

“It probably wasn't smart to judge them based on appearance. I, for instance, was destined to be a world-renowned surgeon, but between my long, brown braid, square-framed glasses, and boyish figure, I looked more like the kind of girl who works in a library and spends Friday nights having deep, meaningful conversations with her cats.”