“I'm going to go hunt some zombie," he said. It would have sounded pretty cool if his voice hadn't cracked in the middle of the sentence.”

“Are these Romero slow zombies, or 28 Days Later fast zombies?” “They were totally slow, dude. Are you blind?”

“So I started running through our weaponry to distract myself. I had my stun gun. Jonah had a pseudosword, and Aaron had a really cute butt. Not that his butt would be useful in de-botting Trey, but it's always good to have a full catalog of your strengths before going into battle.”

“What kind of emergency?”“Uh …”“Gynecology or acupuncture?”What the heck would an acupuncture-related emergency be like?”

“Jonah squealed, jumping up and down and shaking his pom-poms. His skirt swished around his scrawny yellow knees.“Jonah, can I give you a piece of sisterly advice?”“Yeah.”“If you ever want to lose your virginity, don’t do that again. Ever.”

“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?”

“It probably wasn't smart to judge them based on appearance. I, for instance, was destined to be a world-renowned surgeon, but between my long, brown braid, square-framed glasses, and boyish figure, I looked more like the kind of girl who works in a library and spends Friday nights having deep, meaningful conversations with her cats.”