“I am not a good fighter," I try to explain again, fingering the edge of my shirt. "I mean, I am really bad at fighting, not as bad as my friend Issie, who is possibly the least fightery person in the world. I mean, I'm getting better, but still... I mean-- oh I'm sorry. I'm babbling.”

“Who am I really? Am I still the same person if I'm not even technically a person anymore? Does being stronger make me different? Will it?”

“Pain shoots through my head. fireworks. explosions. all inside my brain. the white world goes dark and i know what's about to happen. i'm the one leaving. i am the one gone.”

“I crumple on my bed. For a second, i believed that what i wanted more than anything in the world had come true. For a second, i believed that my dad was back. but he isn't. He's gone again. he's really truly gone and i know it. i know i'll never see him again no matter how much i want to. The candle in me has blown out and i'm afraid, really, really afraid, because my biggest fear is true. i have to live my life without my dad, my running partner, the guy who taught me amnesty and sang john lennon songs really off key.”

“the PE teachers are into strudel," Issie says. '"I'm not sure why. It's so gooey." Gooey is good," Nick says. "Seriously?" I ask him. "You like strudel.""I like a lot of things that aren't good for me." He smiles slowly at me. My mouth must be hanging open because he starts laughing. "You made her blush!" Issie says. "Don't blush, Zara. He's just teasing.”

“I think that sometimes, when you're with the wrong person, you try to become what that person wants. You lose yourself and who you are, just a little bit, but that doesn't mean you can't get it back.”

“Issie?“After a second her voice comes out small and tired. “I'm not here.““Oh.“ I back up so I can stare at the bathroom door. No feet. “Then I should probably freak out because the toilet is talking back to me, huh? A little too many pain meds for Zara today.”