“As far as I know, no vampires live in Antarctica.” “I’d have thought the long winter nights would be just the thing for you guys,” I said. “Perhaps. But the food supply is a bit wanting.”

“Next caller. Betty, you're on the air. What's your question ?""Hi, Kitty. I just wanted to know, are you going out with that Cormac guy from last month?"My jaw dropped. "What?""Are you going out with that Cormac guy?""We are talking about the same Cormac who tried to kill me on the air, yes? the guy who hunts werewolves for a living ?""Uh-huh.""And you want to know if I'm dating him ? Why on earth do you think that's a good idea?”

“Why vampires? You write centuries-long family sagas—why not write historical epics without any hint of the supernatural?" "Well, that would be boring, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, God only knows what Tolstoy was thinking.”

“Have you thought about going insane?" It would seem like a reasonable thing to do, given his circumstances."Did once. Got boring, so I snapped out of it.”

“I was under the impression that werewolf packs were not meant to be run by committee.""Yeah," I said. "But I dont want to be like all those other werewolves, you know?""Says the werewolf named Kitty.""It's too late to change my name now," I grumbled.”

“Um, yeah. I mean, I think… wow." It made sense, really. All part of that vampire seduction gambit: lurethe prey to you, give it a reason to open its veins. Sure cut down on that messy struggling. "Just so youknow, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow."Her voice held a smile. "So am I.”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”