“Damn stupid vampires and their stupid sense of stupid superiority-”

“Stupid, fragile mortals.”

“I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body.""Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition.""No, really. I'm trapped.""Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?""That's just it - I've never shape-shifted.""So you're not really a werewolf.""Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?"Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'?”

“V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination.”

“Um, yeah. I mean, I think… wow." It made sense, really. All part of that vampire seduction gambit: lurethe prey to you, give it a reason to open its veins. Sure cut down on that messy struggling. "Just so youknow, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow."Her voice held a smile. "So am I.”

“Well. Miracles never cease.''Amen to that.'Which, upon reflection, was a very strange thing to hear a vampire say.”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”