“If vampires ever spend less time playing theatrics and living down to their stereotypes, they might actually take over the world someday”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”

“As far as I know, no vampires live in Antarctica.” “I’d have thought the long winter nights would be just the thing for you guys,” I said. “Perhaps. But the food supply is a bit wanting.”

“V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination.”

“Damn stupid vampires and their stupid sense of stupid superiority-”

“Um, yeah. I mean, I think… wow." It made sense, really. All part of that vampire seduction gambit: lurethe prey to you, give it a reason to open its veins. Sure cut down on that messy struggling. "Just so youknow, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow."Her voice held a smile. "So am I.”

“Well. Miracles never cease.''Amen to that.'Which, upon reflection, was a very strange thing to hear a vampire say.”