“Um, yeah. I mean, I think… wow." It made sense, really. All part of that vampire seduction gambit: lurethe prey to you, give it a reason to open its veins. Sure cut down on that messy struggling. "Just so youknow, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow."Her voice held a smile. "So am I.”

“Just so you know, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow."Her voice held a smile. "So am I”

“I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body.""Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition.""No, really. I'm trapped.""Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?""That's just it - I've never shape-shifted.""So you're not really a werewolf.""Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?"Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'?”

“You know your all fucks! why am i so dichable? now how am i supposed to kill you with out upseting that poor nice women!? God damnit alice i liked you why did you have to be such a bitch”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”

“It’s my husband. I think— I think he’s a zombie.” I smiled. “Believe it or not, I get this one a lot. Can you describe his behavior? Why do you think he’s a zombie?” She huffed. “He doesn’t do anything! He sits on the sofa all day watching TV and that’s it.”

“So is he cute? Good-looking, I mean? Because I can’t really tell with guys, and it looked like you two might have hit it off.” I grinned at him. “Jealous?” He grinned right back. “That’s a trick question. If I say yes you’ll accuse me of being paranoid and unreasonable, and if I say no you’ll make some defensive crack about how I don’t think you’re worth getting jealous over.” This was what I got for hooking up with a lawyer.”