“V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination.”

“Damn stupid vampires and their stupid sense of stupid superiority-”

“Well. Miracles never cease.''Amen to that.'Which, upon reflection, was a very strange thing to hear a vampire say.”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”

“If vampires ever spend less time playing theatrics and living down to their stereotypes, they might actually take over the world someday”

“As far as I know, no vampires live in Antarctica.” “I’d have thought the long winter nights would be just the thing for you guys,” I said. “Perhaps. But the food supply is a bit wanting.”

“Why vampires? You write centuries-long family sagas—why not write historical epics without any hint of the supernatural?" "Well, that would be boring, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, God only knows what Tolstoy was thinking.”