“Well. Miracles never cease.''Amen to that.'Which, upon reflection, was a very strange thing to hear a vampire say.”

“Why vampires? You write centuries-long family sagas—why not write historical epics without any hint of the supernatural?" "Well, that would be boring, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, God only knows what Tolstoy was thinking.”

“As far as I know, no vampires live in Antarctica.” “I’d have thought the long winter nights would be just the thing for you guys,” I said. “Perhaps. But the food supply is a bit wanting.”

“V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination.”

“Damn stupid vampires and their stupid sense of stupid superiority-”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”

“If vampires ever spend less time playing theatrics and living down to their stereotypes, they might actually take over the world someday”