“What the hell kind of name is Kitty for a werewolf?”

“I was under the impression that werewolf packs were not meant to be run by committee.""Yeah," I said. "But I dont want to be like all those other werewolves, you know?""Says the werewolf named Kitty.""It's too late to change my name now," I grumbled.”

“I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body.""Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition.""No, really. I'm trapped.""Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?""That's just it - I've never shape-shifted.""So you're not really a werewolf.""Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?"Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'?”

“It doesn’t bother you that your canine brethren are being paraded around show rings like slaves?”“My canine brethren?” I said. “I don’thave any canine brethren.”“How can you say that! You’re a werewolf.”“That’s right. I’m a werewolf, not a poodle. What makes you think I have any kinship with dogs?”

“Hey, Cormac. You ever have to deal with a PMSing werewolf?”

“So, Cormac, have you ever dealt with a PMSing werewolf?'No.'Well, it's a real bitch...”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”