“Why vampires? You write centuries-long family sagas—why not write historical epics without any hint of the supernatural?" "Well, that would be boring, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, God only knows what Tolstoy was thinking.”

“As far as I know, no vampires live in Antarctica.” “I’d have thought the long winter nights would be just the thing for you guys,” I said. “Perhaps. But the food supply is a bit wanting.”

“You know your all fucks! why am i so dichable? now how am i supposed to kill you with out upseting that poor nice women!? God damnit alice i liked you why did you have to be such a bitch”

“Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot to take over the world?” “I spend a lot of time on Wikipedia making corrections to the entries of historical figures I’ve known.” I blinked at him. “Really?” “No, Kitty. That was a joke.”

“Next caller. Betty, you're on the air. What's your question ?""Hi, Kitty. I just wanted to know, are you going out with that Cormac guy from last month?"My jaw dropped. "What?""Are you going out with that Cormac guy?""We are talking about the same Cormac who tried to kill me on the air, yes? the guy who hunts werewolves for a living ?""Uh-huh.""And you want to know if I'm dating him ? Why on earth do you think that's a good idea?”

“All you know is what you think you know, but that isn't always what's real.”

“Um, yeah. I mean, I think… wow." It made sense, really. All part of that vampire seduction gambit: lurethe prey to you, give it a reason to open its veins. Sure cut down on that messy struggling. "Just so youknow, I'm straight. Totally straight. As an arrow."Her voice held a smile. "So am I.”