“I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.”

“Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death.”

“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”

“Hope is believing in something that eludes you. It's a desperate feeling in a desperate situation.”

“Love should feel like a hand sewn quilt made by grandma, wrapping you up on a cold winter morning.”

“If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I would have met the right girl. If I had wanted to meet the right girl, I would have drank a whole lot less.”

“Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.”