“Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny.”

“All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.”

“I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them.”

“I saw America's economy last night, people raiding dumpsters at a higher rate than normal in my home town. Digging through garbage shouldn't be a career. Thanks Democrats. Thanks Republicans.”

“Often times, "shame" is the word that best describes reality.”

“You can spend your life judging people or, you can spend it making friends. Take your pick.”

“A sin is nothing more than regret. Not for doing it once, but doing it again when you know you’re going to regret it.”