“FACT 413: Smoking contributes to heart disease, the number one cause of death in the United States. Cigarette smokers quadruple their risk for developing coronary heart disease.I think it would be fun to put on a Grim Reaper costume and go stand in the corner of the smoking room at the airport. Just stand there. With my sickle.”

“FACT 211: The chronic stress of a high-pressure job has been shown to double the risk of a heart attack. Chronic stress may also result in alcoholism, hypertension, and severe depression, and can make your joints ache, your hair fall out, and even stop your period.So that bald drunk lady at work who's always crying and giving away her tampons? Give her a break; she's under a lot of stress.”

“FACT 450: Ecstasy is often used in conjunction with other drugs such as marijuana, methamphetamine, cocaine, ketamine, and other drugs, making it even more dangerous.Drugs: they're not a salad bar.”

“FACT 228: In Japan, suicide resulting from overwork, or karojisatsu, is an officially recognized and compensated occupational hazard. By some estimates, 5 percent of all suicides in Japan are "company related.""Where's Hiro? He's supposed to lead this meeting." "He killed himself, sir." "Ah, dedication. I like it. Give him a raise.”

“B-but, Mr Jimson, I w-want to be an artist.''Of course you do,' I said, 'everybody does once. But they get over it, thank God, like the measles and the chickenpox. Go home and go to bed and take some hot lemonade and put on three blankets and sweat it out.''But Mr J-Jimson, there must be artists.''Yes, and lunatics and lepers, but why go and live in an asylum before you're sent for? If you find life a bit dull at home,' I said, 'and want to amuse yourself, put a stick of dynamite in the kitchen fire, or shoot a policeman. Volunteer for a test pilot, or dive off Tower Bridge with five bob's worth of roman candles in each pocket. You'd get twice the fun at about one-tenth of the risk.”

“I see a dude who looks like a meth addict across the street; I'm going to assume that's what this fiancée thief looked like, right? I mean, obviously, the only reason she would have left you for anyone else is if she suddenly lost her mind and got struck blind on top of it. Pretty action-packed, your wedding day."I looked at him askance. "I don't think that's quite her version of events.""Yeah, well," said Nate, "she's not here, so I'm just going to have to go with my version.""I could buy into that," I said, after a moment's consideration."Excellent," he said, grinning. "Then you're going to love next week's installment in which he develops spontaneous alopecia.”

“Whether it was the power of suggestion or whether her eyes really hadn't deceived her, I began noticing too that my face was occasionally going rogue the rest of the afternoon, smiling when I had little reason to smile. Maybe my facial nerves were developing a neurological condition; I resolved to keep a close eye on it.”