“Do not think I do not know that Cecily wants you to return home with her. And do not think I do not know that you remain for Jem's sake.""And yours," he said before he could stop himself.”

“What are you doing following me around the back streets of London, you little idiot?” Will demanded, giving her arm a light shake.Cecily’s eyes narrowed. “This morning it was cariad (note: Welsh endearment, like ‘darling’ or ‘love’), now it’s idiot.”“Oh, you’re using a Glamour rune. There’s one thing to declare, you are not afraid of anything when you live in the country. But this is London.”“I’m not afraid of London,” Cecily said defiantly.Will leaned closer, almost hissing in her ear *and said something very complicated in Welsh*She laughed. “No, it wouldn’t do you any good to tell me to go home. You are my brother, and I want to go with you.”Will blinked at her words.You are my brother, and I want to go with you.It was the sort of thing he was used to hearing Jem say.Although Cecily was unlike Jem in every other conceivable possible way, she did share one quality with him. Stubbornness. When Cecily said she wanted something, it did not express an idle desire, but an iron determination.“Do you even care where I’m going?” he said. “What if I were going to hell?”“I’ve always wanted to see hell,” Cecily said. “Doesn’t everyone?”“Most of us spend our time trying to stay out of it, Cecily. I’m going to an ifrit den, if you must know, to purchase drugs from vile, dissolute criminals. They may clap eyes on you, and decide to sell you.”“Wouldn’t you stop them?”“I suppose it would depend on whether they cut me a part of the profit.”She shook her head. “Jem is your parabatai,” she said. “He is your brother, given to you by the Clave, but I am your sister by blood. Why would you do anything for him, but you only want me to go home?”“How do you know the drugs are for Jem?” Will said.“I’m not an idiot, Will.”“No, more’s the pity. Jem- Jem is like the better part of me. I would not expect you to understand. I owe him. I owe him this.”“So what am I?” Cecily said.Will exhaled, too desperate to check himself. “You are my weakness.”“And Tessa is your heart,” she said, not angrily, but thoughtfully. “I am not fooled. As I told you, I’m not an idiot. And more’s the pity for you, although I suppose we all want things we can’t have.”“Oh,” said Will, “and what do you want?”“I want you to come home.” A strand of black hair was stuck to her cheek by the dampness, and Will fought the urge to pull her cloak closer about her, to make her safe as he had when she was a child.“The Institute is my home,” Will sighed, and leaned his head against the stone wall. “I can’t stand out her arguing with you all evening, Cecily. If you’re determined to follow me into hell, I can’t stop you.”“Finally,” she said provingly. “You’ve seen sense. I knew you would, you’re related to me.”Will fought the urge to shake her.“Are you ready?”She nodded, and he raised his hand to knock on the door.”

“[Jem] 'It will help you sleep.''All I’ve been doing is sleeping!' [Tessa]'And very amusing it is to watch, said Jem. 'Did you know you twitch your nose when you sleep, like a rabbit?''I do not,' she said, with a whispered laugh.'You do,' he said. 'Fortunately, I like rabbits.”

“Your place is with me,” Jem said. “It always will be.”“What do you mean?”He flushed, the color dark against his pale skin. “I mean,” he said, “Tessa Gray, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”Tessa sat bolt upright. “Jem!”They stared at each other for a moment. At last he said, trying for lightness, though his voice cracked, “That was not a no, I suppose, thoughneither was it a yes.”“You can’t mean it.”“I do mean it.”“You can’t—I’m not a Shadowhunter. They’ll expel you from the Clave—”He took a step closer to her, his eyes eager. “You may not be precisely a Shadowhunter. But you are not a mundane either, nor provably aDownworlder. Your situation is unique, so I do not know what the Clave will do. But they cannot forbid something that is not forbidden by the Law.They will have to take your—our—individual case into consideration, and that could take months. In the meantime they cannot prevent ourengagement.”“You are serious.” Her mouth was dry. “Jem, such a kindness on your part is indeed incredible. It does you credit. But I cannot let you sacrificeyourself in that way for me.”“Sacrifice? Tessa, I love you. I want to marry you.”

“Do you think Charlotte will let me handle the investigation?""Do you think you can be trusted in Downworld? The gaming hells, the dens of magical vice, the women of loose morals..." Will smiled the way Lucifer might have smiled, moments before he fell from heaven. "Would tomorrow be to early to start looking, do you think?Jem sighed. 'Do what you like, William. You always do.”

“Jem--Jem is all the better part of myself. I would not expect you to understand. I owe him this.""Then what am I?" Cecily asked.Will exhaled, too exasperated to check himself. "You are my weakness.""And Tessa is your heart," she said, not angrily, but thoughtfully. "Not a fool, as I told you," she added at his startled expression. I know that you love her.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Will said. “Mortmain has taken Tessa, and I believe now I know where she might be. There is a part of me that wants nothing more than to go after her. But I cannot leave Jem. I swore an oath. And what if he wakes in the night and finds I am not here?” He looked as lost as a child. “He will think I left him willingly, not caring that he was dying. He will not know. And yet if he could speak, would he not tell me to go after Tessa? Is that not what he would want?” Will dropped his face into his hands. “I cannot say, and it is tearing me in half.”