“Isabelle chewed thoughtfully on her straw. 'That new lead singer they have is hot. Is he single? I'd like to ride him around town like a bad, bad pony-”

“I'd seen him around town for a year or so before he made a move on me. I'd heard good and bad things about him. One friend said he was just out for sex. Another said he was a romantic at heart. What the hell, I thought. I needed sex and romance in my life. Sometimes I believe I would have taken one without the other.”

“...and - holy shit was this song bad. It was like the singer was stabbing my ear with a dagger made of dried turds.”

“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”

“He doesn’t look like a CEO—he looks like a bad boy from the wrong side of town. Holy cow, he’s so fucking sexy.”

“Bad pony-men! BOO!”