“Meanwhile,” Simon added, “I wanted to tell you that lately I‘ve been cross-dressing. Also, I‘m sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know.”

“What?” Simon looked alarmed. ”I‘m not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn’t a very attractive woman for her age.”

“Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.”

“Simon!" Clary shouted, and seized his arm. "What?" Simon looked alarmed."I'm not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn't a very attractive woman, for her age.”

“Clary, what am I going to do? My mom keeps bringing me food and I have to throw it out the window-I haven’t been outside in two days, but I don’t know how much longer I can go on pretending I have the flu. Eventually she‘s going to bring me to the doctor, and then what? I don’t have a heartbeat. he‘ll tell her that I‘m dead.”“Or write you up as a medical miracle,” said Clary.-Simon and Clary, pg.216-”

“The Queen‘s smile was wide and terrible. “What if I told you she could be freed by a kiss?”“You want Jace to kiss you?” Clary said, bewildered.…“Despite his charms,” the Queen said, “that kiss will not free the girl.”The four looked at each other, startled. “I could kiss Meliron, ” suggested Isabelle.“Nor that. Nor any one of my court.”Meliron moved away from Isabelle, who looked at her companions and threw up her hands. “I‘m not kissing any of you,” she said firmly. “Just so its official.”…Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Oh, for the Angel‘s sake. Look, if there’s no other way of getting out of this, I‘ll kiss Simon. I‘ve done it before, it wasn’t that bad.”“Thanks,” said Simon. “That’s very flattering.”“Alas,” said the Queen of the Seelie Court…“I‘m afraid that wont do either.”“Well, I‘m not kissing the mundane,” said Jace. “I‘d rather stay down here and rot.”“Forever?” said Simon. “Forever‘s an awfully long time.”Jace raised his eyebrows. “I knew it,” he said. “You want to kiss me, don’t you?”Simon threw up his hands in exasperation. “Of course not. But if-”“I guess its true what they say,” observed Jace. “There are no straight men in the trenches.”“That’s atheists, jackass,” said Simon furiously. “There are no atheists in the trenches.”

“Well, you know, your mom gets like this sometimes," Simon said. "Like when she breathes in or out.”