“More chibis," said Simon gloomily. All the characters on-screen had turned into inch-high baby versions of themselves and were chasing each other around waving pots and pans. "I'm changing the channel," Simon announced, seizing the remote. "I'm tired of this anime. I can't tell what the plot is and no one ever has sex.""Of course they don't," Clary said, taking another chip. "Anime is wholesome family entertainment.""If you're in the mood for less wholesome entertainment, we could try the porn channels," Simon observed. "Would you rather watch The Witches of Breastwick or As I Lay Dianne?”

“I'm changing the channel," Simon announced, seizing the remote. "I'm tired of this anime. I cant tell what the plot is and no one ever has sex.""Of course they dont," Clary said, taking another chip. "Anime is wholesome family entertainment.""If you're in the mood for less wholesome entertainment we could try the porn channels," Simon observed. "Would you rather watch The Witches of Breastwick or As I Lay Dianne?""Give me that!" Clary grabbed for the remote...-Simon & Clary, pg.16 & 17-”

“Well I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot.""Forever?" said Simon. "Forever is an awfully long time."Jace raised his eyebrows, "I knew it," he said, "you want to kiss me, don't you?"Simon threw his hands up in exasperation. "Of course not but if-""I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.""That's atheists jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches.”

“I just wanted to say that it's okay if you dislike me. If you make Clary happy, I'm fine with you." He stuck his hand out, and Jace took his own hand out of Clary's and shook Simon's, a bemused look on his face."I don't dislike you," he said. "In fact, because I actually do like you, I'm going to offer you some advice.""Advice?" Simon looked wary."I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success," Jace said, indicating Isabelle and Maia with a nod of his head. "And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive-undead thing. But I'd drop the whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possibly be very good."Simon sighed. "I don't suppose there's any change you could reconsider the part where you didn't like me?""Enough, both of you," Clary said. "You can't be complete jerks to each other forever, you know.""Technically," said Simon, "I can."Jace made an inelegant noise; after a moment Clary realized that he was trying not to laugh, and only semi-succeeding. Simon grinned. "Got you.""Well," Clary said. "This is a beautiful moment.”

“Simon!" Clary shouted, and seized his arm. "What?" Simon looked alarmed."I'm not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn't a very attractive woman, for her age.”

“Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Oh, for the Angel's sake. Look, if there's no other way of getting out of this, I'll kiss Simon. I've done it before, it wasn't that bad.""Thanks," said Simon. "That's very flattering.""Well, I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot.""Forever?" said Simon. "Forever's an awfully long time."Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don't you?"Simon threw up his hands in exasperation. "Of course not. But if—""I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.""That's atheists, jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches.”