“Yech," said Simon."Don't 'yech' me. You're the one with the magical spit.”

“I open my eyes. Yech, boyfriend thoughts, the kind I haven’t had since I was a teenager. It’s one thing to imagine Shane naked and slathered in olive oil, but another animal entirely to picture us cuddling.”

“You're staring at me," Simon said. "Why are you staring at me? Have I got something on my face?”

“They don't talk to me much; I don't feel like i know them." Simon said.You're not supposed to. It's a members-only club."Simon accepted this. "So Akira is the angry one, Kisho is the crazy one, Toyo is the old fart...”

“Well I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot.""Forever?" said Simon. "Forever is an awfully long time."Jace raised his eyebrows, "I knew it," he said, "you want to kiss me, don't you?"Simon threw his hands up in exasperation. "Of course not but if-""I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.""That's atheists jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches.”

“More chibis," said Simon gloomily. All the characters on-screen had turned into inch-high baby versions of themselves and were chasing each other around waving pots and pans. "I'm changing the channel," Simon announced, seizing the remote. "I'm tired of this anime. I can't tell what the plot is and no one ever has sex.""Of course they don't," Clary said, taking another chip. "Anime is wholesome family entertainment.""If you're in the mood for less wholesome entertainment, we could try the porn channels," Simon observed. "Would you rather watch The Witches of Breastwick or As I Lay Dianne?”