“She is somewhat”—I search for an appropriate response—“imposing.” “I think you mean terrifying.” “That too.”

“I think I want to sleep,” I say. And I do, really, I do. The last thing I want is to be awake and to think about how Ilven escaped from the life she didn’t want. And why she never spoke to me, told me, warned me. Perhaps I could have changed her mind. It occurs to me that she never meant to meet me under the trees—that she knew me well enough to predict that I would wait only so long before I left—because then she could take the Leap without any chance of me witnessing her from my tower. My heart goes small, and every limb feels too heavy to lift.”

“No one I know has ever seen the matriarch of House Sandwalker, although she’s rumored to be an imposing sort. For a bat.”

“Do you think I don’t care what happens to her?” He shakes his head. “No. I just think that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a friend instead of an agenda.” “Fuck off then,” Dash says. His anger is back, controlled, focused. “I hope you find her, but if you don’t, I won’t mourn either of you.” “I never expected it.” Verrel’s mouth twists in an awful parody of a smile. “I hope your scheme works, Dash, and that you get whatever it is you want.”

“We’re going to watch the sun set,” he says. “I’m not sitting here any longer. Too much misery in this room. I need out.” Lils sneers. “And you want us to all traipse off to the garden and watch the sun set because you hate dealing with reality?” “I can deal with reality perfectly well,” he says back, grinning. “I just don’t see why I should.”

“If all I can feel is the very fraying edge of their grief, then I do not want to think how dark the center must be.”

“I picture my mother’s face when she must go out in public with Owen, the cold arrogant look she wears, as if the whole world is filth before her. It is an expression I’ve learned to copy well, and like all roles, if you can believe it, you can be it. I press my hands to my face and push, smoothing the worry and fear away. I’m better than them. Better than Owen, than Canroth Piers. They can never really control me because they cannot bridle my thoughts.”