“Horace, however, had arrayed himself in a Gothic assortment of crushed velvet, black satin, and patent leather that shouldn't have been allowed in my view. He might as well have I AM A VAMPIRE embroidered across the front of his watered-silk waistcoat. An outfit like that is going to get him staked one of these days; it's exactly what Boris Karloff would have worn, if he had joined the cast of Rocky Horror Motion Picture Show.”

“If it hadn't been for Prosper, he might never have learned how to love at all. Because the ability to become attached to people was something that you had to exercise at an early age, if you didn't want to lose it altogether.”

“You don't believe it because you don't understand," he said hoarsely. "Prosper was different. He wasn't like otherpeople. He might have hated me, but he loved me too. In his own way. He couldn't help it; not after raising me for all those years." When no one responded – when he saw nothing but expressions of disbelief on the faces around him – Cadel wailed, "He did! He did! I know he did! He only wanted to wreck my life because he wasn't a part of it!"And as sympathetic hands reached out towards him from every corner of the car, Cadel began to cry like someone whose heart was breaking.”

“Right" he said "Let's get one thing clear. I am not here to teach you law-I am here to teach you loopholes.”

“I mean who the hell do you think you are, exactly? Saint Roland of the Perpetual Martyrdom?”

“What ever you do-Don't get caught.”

“When someone's rattling on about blocked toilets, collapsing marquees, and penis-shaped birthday cakes, it's hard to convince yourself that you're in a life-or-death situation.”