“It stung this new rejection, but it was also a relief to put an end to the ambiguity and incertitude. I had been deceiving myself the day I decided I could master the art of detachment, or maybe the mistake was to allow things to go on in that vein for as long as they had.”

“I think I'd convinced myself that all long-term relationships end up that way; I really thought I had no right to expect more.”

“I decided however fleeting, however short lived these sensations might be, I was determined to savor them while they lasted, without pushing for moreI liked him, and sensed I could grow to like him more. But I knew it was too soon to beckon anyone inside the invisible circle I had drawn around myself.”

“I tumbled into the taxi alone, closing the door closed with a dull thud before I could possibly change my mind. Not like this, I remember thinking. Whatever this thing is between us, it could only be tainted and cheapened by a semi-drunken encounter on the night of our first meeting. As the car pulled away I stared back at him. The thought that I might never see him again, that I might never know what it would feel like to be kissed by him, seemed unbearably cruel.At a crossroads, I had been faced with a choice: two possible versions of my future mapped out ahead of me. But I didn't feel like I had made any sort of decision. All I had done was run away.”

“I wondered then if there could ever be trust in a relationship based from the outset upon deceiving other people.”

“Our break-up had been a resounding anti-climax. I wanted to be wept over, bitterly. I wanted to be fought for. Mourned, or regretted just a little.I wanted to feel like I was someone who'd been worth having in the first place.”

“Love' was a word I had cheapened with overuse over the years, bleeding it dry of meaning by saying it purely from force of habit, or to convince myself of something of which I was far from sure. I wanted to wait until the words started to feel meaningful again before I used them.”