“Not that I am totally obsessed with merchantry!” said Glasswort Groof as she led them in an artful circle round the Market. “Goblins are well-rounded, though you’d never think it from the dastard tales folk tell of us. For example, I enjoy stamp collecting as well as haggling. The stamps that pay our letters’ way Above are works of art, practically bigger than the envelope! I’ve an early Mallow three-kisser with a rampant rhinocentaur on it in pewter paint. Pride of my collection. And it goes without saying I’m quite the gardener. Goblin vegetables pack twice the punch of fruit with half the delicacy of a simpering little apricot. Soon turnips will be all the rage!”

“Some people collect stamps, while I collect letters. My favorite ones are the rare ones, like Q and X.”

“Where are you, my little object of art? I am here to collect you.”

“She cried, "Laura," up the garden,"Did you miss me?Come and kiss me.Never mind my bruises,Hug me, kiss me, suck my juicesSqueezed from goblin fruits for you,Goblin pulp and goblin dew.Eat me, drink me, love me;Laura, make much of me;For your sake I have braved the glenAnd had to do with goblin merchant men.”

“All science is either physics or stamp collecting.”

“Clap! Snap! the black crack!Grip, grab! Pinch, nab!And down down to Goblin-town You go, my lad!Clash, crash! Crush, smash!Hammer and tongs! Knocker and gongs!Pound, pound, far underground! Ho, ho! my lad!Swish, smack! Whip crack!Batter and beat! Yammer and bleat!Work, work! Nor dare to shirk,While Goblins quaff, and Goblins laugh,Round and round far underground Below, my lad!”