“When you eat a carrot that is nothing but carrot it zooms through your system as a carrot. When you eat a piece of mass-produced carrot cake that contains 32 ingredients, your metabolism screeches to a halt while your body tries to figure out what all those things are that you just swallowed, and what it is supposed to do with them. Therefore, the problem isn’t “fat”, its piles of excess ingredients your body’s stacked on shelves and vowed to sort out later.”

“Can this really call itself a cake when its main ingredients are cheese and carrots?”

“My mother had always taught me to write about my feelings instead of sharing really personal things with others, so I spent many evenings writing in my diary, eating everything in the kitchen and waiting for Mr. Wrong to call.”

“How're the Broncos doing?""Like a bunch of carrots.""Is that bad?""Can carrots play baseball?""I guess not.""Then you have your answer.”

“I'd rather eat nothing than eat a carrot.”

“Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.”

“Gregor lifted the knife and slammed it down. The tops of the carrot rolled across the table, some hitting the floor."What are you doing?""I'm chopping carrots.""Gregor, they are carrots! not tree branches.""I fail to see the difference.”