“Alex: Rosie, I wanted you to be the first person to no that I’ve decided tobecome a heart surgeon!Rosie: Cool, does it pay well?Alex: Rosie, it’s not about the money.Rosie: Where I come from, it’s all about the money. Probably because Idon’t have any.”

“Aim for something Rosie, I know you don’t want to hear it, but it willhelp. Aim for what you want and the year will all make sense. Go to Bostonif that will make you happy. Study hotel management like you’ve alwayswanted.You’re only young Rosie, and I know that you absolutely hate to hearthat but it’s true. What seems tragic now won’t even be an issue in a fewlove, rosie 29years time. You’re only 17. You and Alex have the rest of your lives to catchup together . . . After all, soul mates always end up together. Silly Bethanywon’t even be remembered in a few years time. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten.Best friends stay with you forever.”

“I would hold the rosy, slender fingers of the dawn for you.”

“It also bugs me when I hear about "Angelina's adopted son" or "Rosie's adopted children"--as if that word will always separate them instead of binding them together. Angelina's son and Rosie's kids and I sould get a regular apostrophe-plus-s like everybody else.”

“While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing.”

“Ruby: How nice for you all. How is the wonderfully helpful Ursula?Rosie: Wonderfully helpful. Yesterday she told me I had problems discussingmy feelings.Ruby: And?Rosie: And I told her that made me feel angry and that she could go fuckherself.Ruby: Well expressed.Rosie: Thank you. I don’t see where there was a problem, I successfullyexplained how I felt and she clearly understood what I meant. Noproblems . . .”