“I always pushed myself. Whenever I felt I needed to stop, I made myself run faster.”

“Then I realised that I was the god on this occasion. I had tried to help the bluebottle, but it wouldn't let me. And then I felt sorry for God because I understood his frustration. Sometimes when people offer a helping hand, it gets pushed away. People always want to help themselves first.”

“We said we would meet again but we made no arrangements. Not out of any bad feeling between us, but because I felt it had all been said, or not said but understood, and she probably did too. To know she was there was enough, and for her to know I was around was probably too. Sometimes that's all people ever really need. Just to know.”

“Tired from my all-nighter with my friends, I just kept walking, my head bursting with their conversations, the things I had learned-Laura had had to take the morning-after pill-but none were as loud as the conversations I was having with myself in my head. That, I could never switch off. I don’t think I’d ever thought so much, and talked so little, in my life.”

“Ruby: How nice for you all. How is the wonderfully helpful Ursula?Rosie: Wonderfully helpful. Yesterday she told me I had problems discussingmy feelings.Ruby: And?Rosie: And I told her that made me feel angry and that she could go fuckherself.Ruby: Well expressed.Rosie: Thank you. I don’t see where there was a problem, I successfullyexplained how I felt and she clearly understood what I meant. Noproblems . . .”

“I think I need to facewhat I could have been in order to understand and accept what I am.”

“I know that. I just don’t feel it sometimes. Over there I felt like Ihadn’t a care in the world. Things felt so good and it was almost asif every muscle in my body relaxed the moment I landed there. Ihaven’t laughed so much in years. I felt like a 23-year-old, Steph. Ihaven’t felt like that much lately. I know this probably sounds weirdbut I felt like the me that I could have been.I liked that I didn’t have to look out for somebody else while Iwalked down the street. I didn’t have the fifty near heart attacks perday that I usually get when Katie goes missing or puts something inher mouth that she shouldn’t. I didn’t have to dive onto the roadand hold her back just in time from being hit by a car. I liked that Ididn’t have to give out, correct people on their pronunciation ormake threats. I liked laughing at a joke without my sleeve beingtugged at and being asked to explain. I liked having adult conversationswithout being interrupted to cheer and applaud a silly danceor the learning of a new word. I liked that I was just me, Rosie, notmummy, thinking just about me, talking about things I liked, goingplaces I liked to go without having to worry about nappy changes,bottle feeding or sleepy-head tantrums. Isn’t that awful?”