“It’s hard for everyone isn’t it? Anyone who says it’s easy is a liar. There’sthis huge divide between me and Alex right now because I feel like we’re livingin such different worlds, I don’t know what to talk about with him anymore.And we used to be able to talk all night. He phones once a week and Ilisten to what he’s been up to during the week and try to bite my tongueevery time I go into another Katie story. Truth is I have nothing other to talkabout but her and I know it bores people. I think I used to be interestingonce upon a time.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”“What is?”“Treaties and all that. It’s like we woke up one morning and we weren’t supposed to be enemies anymore. It’ll take some getting used to.”“True,” I said. “I think it’s really cool though.”“Unfortunately, not everyone agrees.”I thought of my grandfather and what he would do if he could see me now. “I know. But it’s worth protecting.”“Yes,” he said, and something about the way he was looking at me made me think he was talking specifically about me. “It is.”

“You see? I don’t know what ‘mature’ means, either, and you could talk all night and I still wouldn’t know. It’s all just words to me, Frank. I watch you talking and I think: Isn’t that amazing? He really does think that way; these words really do mean something to him. Sometimes it seems I’ve been watching people talk and thinking that all my life. And maybe it means there’s something awful the matter with me, but it’s true.”

“I think that, to me it’s a story about forgiveness. Some people say to me that they would never forgive Tom for what he did. Other people say ‘well he was grief stricken’. But I still think that the way he acted was awful. There was a trust thing that happened there and especially coming from a character like Tara Finke, he’s not really a player and she’s not really a confidant person on so many different levels. But I think for me there was just, ultimately I know what he did was wrong but there was such a respect between them as people and I like the fact that he had to actually work instead of trying. Like I think in the past he had found it so easy to charm people but at this particular case because he didn’t have her there in front of him, he actually had to work at wooing her back. And I think he succeeds. And there are so many times when people around him don’t think he is going to succeed at that, there’s no way that she will forgive him and I like the fact that she does, and it’s not because she’s a pushover it’s because Tom has really worked at it that he has opened himself to her in the same that that she kind of opened herself to him. I suppose it’s about trust between people in the end.”

“What is this, Tom”“It’s the beginning, January.”“Of what?” She asked me seriously.“Well have all the time in the world to talk about that. It’s too deep to get into it right now but know this, I’m tired of pretending. So weary of it. I forgot myself when I lost who I thought Kelly was to me, but you’ve shown me what I think, no, I know no one else could have shown me.”“And what’s that?”“That I don’t want to be lost anymore. I – I want you.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I’m supposed to do right now. Right now I can’t sleep. It’s right now that I can’t eat. Right now I still hear his voice and sense his presence even though I know he’s not here. Right now all I seem to do is cry. I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don’t know what to do with all this hurt right now.”