“Just Fat and CuddlyThere’s Aunty, just out of bed, looking a little glum and gloomy,but I tell you mate, she’s put on weight as her frocks ain’t nice and roomy.I’ll send her west where there ain’t no pests, where frogs all croak for water,and I tell you mate she’ll loose the weight and once again she’ll be a corker.I’m now heading back to my mountain shack, this only if I get the time,for things won’t go well, she’ll give me hell, when she reads this little rhyme.”

“She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole penis.
 She took all I had, and she didn’t even take me out to coffee.”

“Uh…tell me, Mace. Have you actually let her in on the fact she’s yours now?” “No. But I will. She’ll simply have to deal with it.” Smitty sighed. “So says the King of the Jungle.”

“You can still tell Mommy that you love her and that you’ll miss her, and she’ll hear everything you say.”I looked at Mommy but quickly shook my head. “I don’t want to miss her.”

“- Excellent, excellent, your plan is working. -- What plan? - I ask.- The plan to make her wonder if you love her. Nothing makes a women more curios then the suspicion that she’s loved by someone. She’ll do anything to confirm it now, you see. She’ll go out of her way to find out if you really do. That’s just human nature. Who doesn’t want to be loved? -”

“what did you think would happen—best case? She’ll forget about you when you return to Caliban, you know that. Or do you think she won’t wish, that you can stay here with her? That for the rest of her life, she’ll put you above getting whatever she wishes for? Even better—that for the rest of her life, she won’t slip up and say something like ‘I wish it would stop raining’? You can’t win this. In the end, you’ll be in Caliban. She’ll forget you. And whatever ‘friendship’ you think you have will be gone. Relationships are not for immortals. A bird and a fish may long for each other, but where could they live?”