“I don't eat chicken abortions!”

“How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?”

“I'm a vegetarian.You're a what?I don't eat meat.How can you not eat meat?I just don't.He says he does not eat meat.What?No meat?No meat.Steak?No...Chickens!No...And what about the sausage?No, no sausage, no meat!He says he does not eat any meat.Not even sausage?I know!What is wrong with him?What is wrong with you?Nothing, I just don't eat meat!”

“Chickens are annoying. Is that why people eat them? My sister is annoying, but nobody eats her.”

“Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.”

“Damn chicken. Come eat your dinner. I'm cold.”