“Daddy, I'll be fine. Smalley says some people are late bloomers, that's all."Actually, what she'd said was, 'Tis a marvellous bud that opens its petals at midnight - not so eager as the weeds of daybreak. I figured that translated to, Just because you're not a slut like Veronica, doesn't mean you'll end up alone.”
“It always confused me how Smalley managed to keep enrolment limited only to Guardian bloodlines. I don't know, maybe she put some charm up that made people think about dead puppies every time they stepped on campus. That's what I would have done, anyway, if I were headmistress.”
“Lots of things are impossible. Doesn't mean they don't happen every day.""Actually that is what impossible means. You should Google it," I suggested. "Wait, does Google qualify as an impossible thing?”
“Something simple-minded and morally vacuous? A hamster, perhaps? Maybe Veronica?""Excuse me!" Veronica griped form the back table."Those are gerbils, Mr. Charbonnet, not hamsters. And I'd thank you to minimise the insulting commentary.""My apologies, sir." Alec nodded. "The gerbil is a noble beast. I shouldn't have compared it to Veronica.”
“Just because a guy wears glasses and smiles at you doesn't mean he's nice." Lisa dug around in her purse for a tube of lip-gloss. "Maybe he's a visually impaired cannibal. Did you ever think of that? Like one of those serial killers you love so much.""I don't love serial killers," Katie argued, defensive. "Not romantically, at least.”
“She takes after her father.""Uh, I guess," I said, unsure how to respond. Bud's reputation was too far down the toilet for it to be a compliment.”
“Plus, I can't look at him the same since I ran into Mrs. Marino at our family reunion. It's not comforting to learn you've made out with your cousin.""Third cousin once removed," I argued. "It's hardly incest.""Life is like a box of chocolates, Lisa," Katie noted around a half-chewed carrot stick. "You never know what you're going to get."Lisa narrowed her eyes, confused. "Did she just quote Forrest Gump at me?""It's Matt's fault," I said. "She lost a bet and now anytime his name gets mentioned, she has sixty seconds to drop a relevant movie quote.""That's insane.""Yup," Katie piped in, "insanity tuns in my family. Its practically gallops.""Classic." I high-fived her.”