“Sheets of flowing raven-black hair...all wrapped up in that saccharin sweetness you only find in church-ladies and Girl Scout moms. It was enough to make a girl sprint to the nearest shopping mall for a free makeover.”

“Raven: "Don't you notice that?"Alexander: "Notice what?"Raven: "The girls?"Alexander: "What girls?"Raven: "Hello! You were worried about bringing me to a bar when all along I should have been concerned about bringing you."Alexander: "I don't know what you are talking about."Raven: "The girls are drooling all over you!"Alexander: "Well, there is only one girl I want to be with and she's right here.”

“If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of being black-friendless, you can either go to the nearest black church and strike up a conversation, or just fire up Facebook, search for “black people,” and start clicking “Add Friend” on the names in the resulting lists. Technology is amazing and quite a time-saver.”

“2. Goth girls. Streaked purple and black hair, tattoos, a sexy little tramp stamp on the lower back, navel rings, tongue studs… nipple rings… ripped fishnets and high heels, dark clothes and dark moods. Makes me want to peel it all off and find the soft spots underneath, the sweetness at the center… mmmm.”

“I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!”

“Opportunity Knocks Only Once'…Twice if it’s selling Girl Scout Cookies..."
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