“The way to do research is to attack the facts at the point of greatest astonishment.”

“Pecans are not cheap, my hons. In fact, in the South, the street value of shelled pecans just before holiday baking season is roughly that of crack cocaine. Do not confuse the two. It is almost impossible to make a decent crack cocaine tassie, I am told.”

“College is the greatest vacation anyone can take before real life begins. CR 2002 Hear the Calliope: A sentimental journey on the Earth Ride”

“How are you going to keep the lions from attacking people?" "Big fences? Signs that say, Don't Jog at Night by Yourself, Dumbass?""You really don't feel anything for the guy who was almost killed?" Brian asked quietly."Of course I do," Chloe sighed. "The poor shuck wasn't really doing anything wrong-- aside from buying a new condo recently built up against parkland, which merits some kind of punishment. But is hunting down and killing the cat the right answer?" "The problem is that it's no longer afraid of humans, and now it has a taste of their blood.”

“Lies are not rooted in the mind in the way truth is.”

“Severe isn't a word normally associated with a cold. Severe is for weather or third-degree burns...No one responds 'severe' when someone asks how her cold is.In fact, nine out of ten Americans respond to 'How's your cold' with 'It sucks.' So there should be an It Sucks cold formula.”

“They give her tractors and things to play with instead of dolls, just to prove that girls are exactly the same as boys.Mind you, they're a bit illogical, it seems to me, because they have never forced me to play with dolls, which I would have thought would have proved the point just as effectively.”