“Far too many people are signing up to become slaves to their credit card companies.”

“Just like credit card companies, or those student loan people. Now there's evil for you.”

“That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.”

“Very few people grow up. Most people grow older but growing up is challenging. Many people get older honor their credit cards matriculate into and graduate out of schools get married and have children. They call that growing up maturing. It's not. It is simply growing old - Maya Angelo”

“You know what—gyms make the largest chunk of their profit from clients who pay their monthly dues on auto-pay but never bother to show up and use the gym. The DVD-rental companies make a good chunk of their profits from late fees; the credit-card companies make a fortune on sundry fines and penalties; the airlines’ margins are highest on ticket changes and cancellations… So, the key to running a successful business in America is to sign up a customer and pray he’ll somehow screw up…”

“Most people don't grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”