“Better to be screwed physically than financially.”

“It's truly amazing what a good screw can do for your outlook, I thought.”

“It was somehow degrading, craving someone so... voraciously - another good calendar word - just because he was physically beautiful. I hadn't thought that was something women did, either.”

“I held on to my better nature by my fingernails but I held on.”

“If I have to choose between you and me - I like me better.”

“He looked like he'd just seen the Ghost of You Better Shut Your Mouth...”

“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”