“If this was The Lord of the Rings and I had a smart British voice like Cate Blanchett, I could tell you the background of the events of that fall in a really suspenseful way. And you’d be straining to hear the rest.”

“We could go back," he said. In the dome light of the car, his face looked hard as stone. "We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each other's bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you." His nostrils flared, and he looked suddenly proud. "I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you." "Sounds like a marriage," I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. But my voice was too shaky. "Yes," he said.”

“I had never seen so many cute men in one place in my life. But I could tell they were not for me. Russell was like the gay vampire Hugh Hefner, and this was the Playboy Mansion, with an emphasis on the "boy.”

“Did we have sex?" he asked directly.For about two minutes, this might actually be fun. "Eric," I said, "we had sex in every position I could imagine, and some I couldn’t. We had sex in every room in my house, and we had sex outdoors. You told me it was the best you’d ever had." (At the time he couldn’t recall all the sex he’d ever had. But he’d paid me a compliment.) "Too bad you can’t remember it," I concluded with a modest smile.Eric looked like I’d hit him in the forehead with a mallet. For all of thirty seconds his reaction was completely gratifying.”

“Bill, what's your favorite fantasy?" I asked. Weirdly enough, I felt much better after designing all these happy endings.Bill glanced over at me quizzically. We were almost to my house. "My favorite fantasy? You come down into my daytime resting place stark naked," he said. I could see the gleam of his teeth as he smiled. "Oh wait," Bill said. "That's already happened.""There's gotta be more to it," I said. Then I could have bitten off my tongue."Oh, there is." His eyes told me exactly what happened after that."And that's your fantasy? That I come into your house naked and have sex with you?""After that, you tell me that you have sent Eric on his way, that you want to be with mine forever, and that to share my life you will permit me to make you a vampire like me."The silence now was thick, and the fun had drained out of the fantasy.Then Bill added, "You know what I'd say when you told me this? I'd tell you I would never do such a thing. Because I love you.”

“And that's your fantasy? That I come into your house naked and have sex with you?""After that, you tell me that you have sent Eric on his way, that you want to be mine forever, and that to share my life you will permit me to make you a vampire like me."The silence now was thick, and the fun had drained out of the fantasy.Then Bill added, "You know what I'd say when you told me this? I'd tell you I would never do such a thing. Because I love you.”

“I could tell Hugo was convinced that he would get to walk back up these stairs: after all, he was a civilized person. These were all civilized people.Hugo really couldn't imagine that anything irreparable could happen to him, because he was a middle-class white American with a college education, as were all the people on the stairs with us.I had no such conviction. I was not a wholly civilized person.”