“I'm a Waitress.”

“what are you?" he asked. "I'm a waitress.”

“School sucks. I'm dropping out and becoming a truck stop waitress. I think i'll change my name to Flo and get a really bad perm. Flo the truck stop waitress with a bad perm doesn't need high school. She lives off the knowledge of life.”

“I'll bet I'm as old as you are.""I'm older than Sanskrit.""Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper.""I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers.""You win.”

“I did it because the offer of a record contract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a waitress. Now, I'm not so sure.”

“I was in Nashville, Tennessee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me: 'Hey, whatcha readin' for?' Isn't that the weirdest fuckin' question you've ever heard? Not what am I reading, but what am I reading FOR? Well, goddamnit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well . . . hmmm...I dunno...I guess I read for a lot of reasons and the main one is so I don't end up being a fuckin' waffle waitress.”