“Probably these children were not demonic. Possibly they were quite typical. But collectively, they were hell.”

“Human scrambled around, totally oblivious to the hell that burned beneath them. They were like children, so addicted to their toys they'd probably never notice the mortal world collapsing.”

“We probably looked like starving orphan children. Hey! We were starving orphan children.”

“She had the kind of looks that had probably been quite pretty in high school, but were now worn down by years of smoking cigarettes, raising children, and the disappointment of being married to an asshole.”

“The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, If you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you're probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire.”

“When the world began, there were no such things as monsters. Demons were just fallen angels who, booted out of Heaven and bored with Hell, wandered the Earth sticking little girls’ pigtails in inkwells and sinking the occasional continent.”