“What's the nature of your emergency?'oh, shit! Just come! There are dead people out here!”

“This isn't what I expected when I found out you were sleeping in the house.""What did you expect?""I expected you'd come over here because you couldn't wait an extra minute to have fabulous, mind-blowing sex with me.”

“Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?"One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell.”

“So, what, you just decided to sack out here and seduce me when I walked in the door? Home from spending the night at my boyfriend's? After having sex with him that could go in the Guinness Book of Records?”

“Eric: ''What part do you like best?'' Sookie: ''oh your butt'' Eric: ''My...Bottom?'' Sookie: ''yep”

“You take I-55 south, and you'll run into I-20. Or you could take..."I was about to be overloaded with information. "Oh that sounds just perfect. Let me do just that, or I'll lose track."Sure, glad I could help."Oh, you surely did."We beamed at each other, just two nice women. I had to fight an impulse to say "I have a tortured vampire in my trunk," out of sheer giddiness.”

“Oh come on Pam, they're funny. They're like humans but miniature...tea cup humans!”