“You were so sweet when you didn't know who you were.”

“i hate her skinny thighs and her elitist attitude. i hope she's a dreadful bitch who makes you so miserable that you howl when you remember me.”

“This isn't what I expected when I found out you were sleeping in the house.""What did you expect?""I expected you'd come over here because you couldn't wait an extra minute to have fabulous, mind-blowing sex with me.”

“You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless.”

“I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room.(Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family)”

“How grateful are you?" he whispered, his mouth hovering over mine. His eyes were very alert now, and his gaze was boring into mine."That kind of ruins it, when you say something like that," I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. "You shouldn't want me to have sex with you just because I owe you.""I don't really care why you have sex with me, as long as you do it," he said, equally gently.”

“You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.”