“dear J: I feel lucky that I didn’t fuck you the first time we met in Houston, but luckier that I didn’t fuck you the last time we met in San Francisco. this is the answer to your letter even though I don’t know if you’ll ever read it. the words are yours but I’ll get credit for the poem. you see, it could never have worked, the way I am. B.”

“No baby, I’m not scaring you. You’re just scared. You give me a little more, you’ll see I protect it. More, I’ll protect that too. More, I got that too. When you give it all to me, if it works with us in a way that lasts, you’ll never be scared. You’ll feel safe enough to have your eyes open, your arms up and you’ll enjoy the fuck outta the ride. I’ll see to that, Red, and that’s a promise.”

“See, you don’t get it. You never fucking got it. You’ve avoided me since Thanksgiving break.Dropped the Goddamn class and I know that was because of me, and every time I tried to talk to you, you fucking ran from me.”“You didn’t want to talk to me the day I thanked you for helping me out,” I pointed out.“Gee, I don’t know why? Maybe because you made it painfully clear you didn’t want anything to do with me. And then you just show up tonight?Out of the fucking blue and get drunk? You don’t get it.”

“I don’t know when I’ll get to send you another balloon. I know it probably won’t get to you. You’ve never answered and I know that even if you got my letters, you could never write back.”

“I know you want to fuck me. And I know you wish you didn’t. So how about we compromise and you can sit here and say, ‘No, Nora,’ ‘Don’t, Nora,’ ‘Stop, Nora,’ and I’ll ignore all those protests and slide right down on your cock anyway? And I’ll do it because no and don’t and stop aren’t your safe word. So you can finally get fucked and still sleep like a baby in your big lonely bed tonight feeling all clean and shiny and virginal because, after all, you did say ‘no’ and that awful Nora Sutherlin just wouldn’t listen.”

“I don’t know if i’ll ever get you out of my system, not completely. I have… this feeling. That you’ll always be there. Here.”