“just heard a commercialwhich told meFarmer John smokes his ownbacon.now, there's one toughson of abitch.”

“John Cusack is standing over there.”I followed his incredulous gaze to where a man very like Mr. Cusack did indeed stand, smoking a cigarette as he leaned against a building. I sighed.“That’s not John Cusack. That’s Jerome.”“Seriously?”“Yup. I told you he looked like John Cusack.”“Keyword: looked. That guy doesn’t look like him. That guy is him.”

“I picked up the phone and dialed up John on his cell. One ring, and then-"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, VINNY!""John?""Oh, Dave. Sorry. I had been having a heated argument here on my phone and then I hung up in disgust. Then when the phone rang I just assumed, without checking, that it was the person I was having an argument with so I just blindly shouted insults into the phone. How embarrassing.""I’m getting sick of that one, John.”

“Where there's fire, there's smoke.”

“Who do you serve?” Lanferelle asked.“Sir John Cornerwailled,” Hook said proudly.Lanferelle was pleased. “Sir John! Ah, there's a man. His mother must have slept with a Frenchman.”

“I HAVE A HEARTBURN AND DIAHREA AT THE MOMENT--LIFE'S ABITCH. CHAT LATER?[signed] SORE TUSH”